A few weeks back, I made cupcakes.

They looked a lot like volcanoes. Especially that one on the right – it’s winning All the 4th Grade Science Fairs. But more importantly, the cupcakes were made in recognition of a long standing tradition a friend and I have: she has a major life event, and complains about the lack of cupcakes in her life, and I make said cupcakes appear. It’s been the same since high school, when her first major breakup had me topping a mountain of frosting with a small army of Rolos.

It’s going to be the last time.

There are a million reasons why friends drift apart, and our story is not a new one. She recently had a baby, and my world has recently become focused on building a career. One is no better than the other – we’ve made choices, little ones and big ones, that changed who we are from the two girls who met in high school, and changed us both for the better. Even though I’ve felt the drift for years, it became absolutely crystal clear to me that our relationship had changed when the old cupcake ritual no longer felt the same.

There is no doubt in my mind that we will still stay connected in some way, her growing family will always need a cool Aunt to sugar up her kids and send them home, I made that promise over 10 years ago and I intend to keep it. But we will no longer know the details of each other’s lives, no longer be the first call when something happens, and no longer be as close as we once were. We will always have the words scrawled in yearbooks, photos of strange days and even stranger outfits, and the crumbs of more cupcakes than I care to count wedged between the pages of our friendship.